In June 2024, Debra and I took a road trip from northern Arizona through central Utah - from our home in Show Low to Salt Lake City. Why Salt Lake City? To renew our wedding vows in our Golden Anniversary year! We did a bit of sightseeing, too. Click HERE to read an intro to our trip.
Our ceremony was perfect and the sights we saw were amazing!
This story, the fourth in a series, is about our vow renewal ceremony and celebration.
Our ceremony was perfect and the sights we saw were amazing!
This story, the fourth in a series, is about our vow renewal ceremony and celebration.
Draper, Utah (June 16, 2024) Debra and I were married on June 16, 1974, in Golf Manor, the village near Cincinnati (Ohio) where she lived. On this date, we vowed:
For better, for worse,
For richer, for poorer,
In sickness, and in health,
Until death do us part.
For richer, for poorer,
In sickness, and in health,
Until death do us part.
And now, in the early afternoon, we were in Draper, Utah to renew our vows—an affirmation of our continuing love for one another. It was our Golden Anniversary, and a magical moment for Debra and me!
This was us in 1974.
This was us in 1974.
…and this is us this day.
I don’t think we’ve changed much, do you? Oh…you’re right…perhaps a bit, as Debra is even prettier than the day we married, and my hair is streaked with ‘touches’ of gray and white.
A couple of months back, we contacted Reverend Christopher Scuderi, ordained non-denominational minister of Universal Heart Ministry, and asked him to perform our vow renewal ceremony. He said “Yes,” and we were ever-so-glad he did because the ceremony he performed was sensitive, personal (to us), and heartful—exactly what Debra and I had hoped for!
(We also engaged Stephanie Lorraine to photograph our ceremony—another great choice, as evidenced by the handful of her photographs that grace this story.)
Soon after Debra and I secured the services of Reverend Scuderi, we received an email from him in which he wrote, “Here are your homework assignments. Please describe the following using “I” statements with three to five sentences for each item. Do not share what you write with each other, as I will read your statements during your ceremony.”
The three items were:
A couple of months back, we contacted Reverend Christopher Scuderi, ordained non-denominational minister of Universal Heart Ministry, and asked him to perform our vow renewal ceremony. He said “Yes,” and we were ever-so-glad he did because the ceremony he performed was sensitive, personal (to us), and heartful—exactly what Debra and I had hoped for!
(We also engaged Stephanie Lorraine to photograph our ceremony—another great choice, as evidenced by the handful of her photographs that grace this story.)
Soon after Debra and I secured the services of Reverend Scuderi, we received an email from him in which he wrote, “Here are your homework assignments. Please describe the following using “I” statements with three to five sentences for each item. Do not share what you write with each other, as I will read your statements during your ceremony.”
The three items were:
- How I feel about Debra/Howard and my love and relationship for her/him—the things I appreciate, admire, and value.
- If I could grant Debra/Howard one wish, what would it be.
- What is my vision of our future together.
Reverend Scuderi also sent vow sets, blessings, poetry, and quotes.
“Choose what you like,” he wrote, “and I will include those you choose in your ceremony.”
After we read his email, I said, "Well, hon, we have our work cut out for us. Where would you like to begin?”
“Let’s choose our vows, and perhaps a few blessings and quotes, before we tackle our homework assignments.”
And that was what we did.
That evening, we sent the readings we chose to Reverend Scuderi, and the next day we went to work on our homework assignments. When we finished—we worked independent of one another and did not share—we emailed our statements to the Reverend.
With all of our preparatory work behind us, we asked Reverend Scuderi where we might hold our ceremony. He suggested a park located in nearby Draper, a historic town “rich in pioneer heritage and colorful character,” which was settled in 1849.
“There’s a beautiful gazebo in the center of the park, and I think it would be a nice setting for your ceremony. There’s no charge to use the gazebo…unless you want to reserve it for your exclusive use.”
We gladly paid $250 to reserve the gazebo for our once-in-a-lifetime celebration.
This is a selfie I snapped before our ceremony (and before Stephanie arrived). The gazebo is behind Debra and me, and as you can see, the grounds were adorned with beautiful trees and flowering shrubs. There was no doubt—it WAS a picturesque setting!
“Choose what you like,” he wrote, “and I will include those you choose in your ceremony.”
After we read his email, I said, "Well, hon, we have our work cut out for us. Where would you like to begin?”
“Let’s choose our vows, and perhaps a few blessings and quotes, before we tackle our homework assignments.”
And that was what we did.
That evening, we sent the readings we chose to Reverend Scuderi, and the next day we went to work on our homework assignments. When we finished—we worked independent of one another and did not share—we emailed our statements to the Reverend.
With all of our preparatory work behind us, we asked Reverend Scuderi where we might hold our ceremony. He suggested a park located in nearby Draper, a historic town “rich in pioneer heritage and colorful character,” which was settled in 1849.
“There’s a beautiful gazebo in the center of the park, and I think it would be a nice setting for your ceremony. There’s no charge to use the gazebo…unless you want to reserve it for your exclusive use.”
We gladly paid $250 to reserve the gazebo for our once-in-a-lifetime celebration.
This is a selfie I snapped before our ceremony (and before Stephanie arrived). The gazebo is behind Debra and me, and as you can see, the grounds were adorned with beautiful trees and flowering shrubs. There was no doubt—it WAS a picturesque setting!
We were a bit nervous days ahead of the 16th—not about renewing our vows, mind you, but rather the weather. The forecast was 90 degrees with no clouds and no breeze. It was NOT the weather we had hoped for.
Well, as things turned out, we were blessed with near picture-perfect weather—about 80 degrees, passing clouds, and a nice breeze from the northwest.
Our ceremony began at 1:30—the same time our wedding started in 1974—as the Reverend recited this opening prayer:
Dear God, giver of all spiritual grace and the author of everlasting life, we humbly ask You to send Your divine blessing upon this couple, that they, living faithfully together, may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant made between them, and that they may ever remain in love and hold mutual respect for one another. These things we humbly pray in Your holy name, Amen.
And then Reverend Scuderi welcomed everyone—we Zoomed our ceremony so that our children, David and Jill, could be present, as well as a handful of friends.
Well, as things turned out, we were blessed with near picture-perfect weather—about 80 degrees, passing clouds, and a nice breeze from the northwest.
Our ceremony began at 1:30—the same time our wedding started in 1974—as the Reverend recited this opening prayer:
Dear God, giver of all spiritual grace and the author of everlasting life, we humbly ask You to send Your divine blessing upon this couple, that they, living faithfully together, may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant made between them, and that they may ever remain in love and hold mutual respect for one another. These things we humbly pray in Your holy name, Amen.
And then Reverend Scuderi welcomed everyone—we Zoomed our ceremony so that our children, David and Jill, could be present, as well as a handful of friends.
Debra and Howard, on this very day fifty years ago, the two of you gathered before your friends and family to be joined in holy matrimony. Your presence here today is evidence of your supreme love and devotion to one another…a declaration of your equal will to recommit to your marriage, to continue to cherish, comfort, honor, and respect one another. Do you both now seek to recommit yourselves in the blessed union of marriage?
In unison we answered, “I do.” Debra and I selected the poem “On Marriage” by Kahlil Gibran—a “poignant exploration of the nature of love and partnership”—which begins, “You were born together, and together you shall be forever more.” |
And when he finished reading this poem, the Reverend continued,
Over these last fifty years you have learned a great many things, about yourselves, each other, and the way you work in your relationship together. You have found that marriage is indeed the uniting of two people and a journey toward the unity of two hearts, recognizing that it thrives on the love that you have for each other and continues to grow deeper as each of you grow older.
(Rest assured: Reverend Scuderi said more, but so as not to lose you as a reader, I’ve included only the highlights of the words he said and messages he conveyed to us.)
Your incredible story of love began back in 1973, when Debra’s sorority sisters intervened and set the two of you up on a date, and as they say, “the rest is history.” Indeed, it is clear to see that Almighty God allowed your paths to converge, knowing that you would share a deep soul connection.
(I saw a tear roll down Debra’s cheek, and I wiped it with a Kleenex I held in my hand.)
And then Reverend Scuderi read the statements we wrote in answer to the first question he had posed. Again, highlights only.
Over these last fifty years you have learned a great many things, about yourselves, each other, and the way you work in your relationship together. You have found that marriage is indeed the uniting of two people and a journey toward the unity of two hearts, recognizing that it thrives on the love that you have for each other and continues to grow deeper as each of you grow older.
(Rest assured: Reverend Scuderi said more, but so as not to lose you as a reader, I’ve included only the highlights of the words he said and messages he conveyed to us.)
Your incredible story of love began back in 1973, when Debra’s sorority sisters intervened and set the two of you up on a date, and as they say, “the rest is history.” Indeed, it is clear to see that Almighty God allowed your paths to converge, knowing that you would share a deep soul connection.
(I saw a tear roll down Debra’s cheek, and I wiped it with a Kleenex I held in my hand.)
And then Reverend Scuderi read the statements we wrote in answer to the first question he had posed. Again, highlights only.
“Debra, you are my cherished companion, my soul mate, and my Best Friend Forever. I love that you accept me for who I am and without judgement and genuinely appreciate your encouragement and advice. I know that you speak from your heart, always with the best intentions and strong moral principles.”
“Howard, you may already know this, though it bears repeating. I’ve always felt that you were sent to me by God himself. We initially met while I was in heartbreak, devastated and lost. Then you just “happened” to come into my life, immediately showing me deep compassion and caring. Fifty years later, you are still aways there for me. I love you so much, for the husband you are to me, and for the father you are to our children. I couldn’t have chosen a better partner in life.” |
Needless to say, tears welled in our eyes as we listened to what the other had said.
As for our wishes for one another, I wrote:
As for our wishes for one another, I wrote:
“Agatha Christie said, “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world,” and this has been your love for our children—unconditional, limitless and everlasting. And so, if I could grant you one wish, it would be for life-long blessings of joy, love, and fulfillment from David and Jill. As it has been, so shall it always be!”
|
And Debra wrote:
If I could grant you a wish, it actually comes in two parts. The first part would be that the sight in your right eye would return to you immediately. It would allow you to relish seeing the world the way you did before, yet with even more wonder and appreciation. The second part is the desire and ability for you to use your eyes to look within yourself to see the incredible man that Jill, David, and I see, to increase your self-awareness for spiritual growth, and to further expand your deepening relationship with God.
|
(My heart is filled with joy and my eyes are brimming with tears as I write these words, this story.)
There was one question yet to answer.
There was one question yet to answer.
“Debra, you know I’ve planned our finances to age 95, so first and foremost, I want to grow old—to reach 95--with you at my side. One of my favorite travel quotes is, “I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” I’d love for you to be with me when I get there. And no matter what our future together holds, I want us always to be best friends.”
“Howard, I see a future that is as bright and fulfilling as it’s always been...in which we will continue to explore (the world) until we are no longer physically able to do so. At that time, I know we’ll hold hands, look through the thousands of photos you have taken, reminisce about our amazing lives, and thank God for how blessed we have been throughout. |
And then, Reverend Scuderi read our selected reading from the Bible, 1st Corinthians 13:4-8, which describes the qualities of love. It begins, “Love is patient and kind. …not jealous or boastful or proud or rude…”. It ends, “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through ever circumstance. …love will last forever.”
Reverend Scuderi blessed our rings…
May the blessing on your rings be renewed that you who wear them will ever abide in perfect love, peace, and harmony together.
…and then recited a poem we had selected—“Love is an Adventure,” written by philosopher Pierre Tielhard de Chardin. Here are a few of the lines from this poem:
Reverend Scuderi blessed our rings…
May the blessing on your rings be renewed that you who wear them will ever abide in perfect love, peace, and harmony together.
…and then recited a poem we had selected—“Love is an Adventure,” written by philosopher Pierre Tielhard de Chardin. Here are a few of the lines from this poem:
The only right love is that between couples,
whose passion leads them both,
one through the other,
to a higher possession of their being.
Put your faith in the spirit
which dwells between the two of you.
There alone the skies are ever open for your love;
there alone lies the great road ahead.
whose passion leads them both,
one through the other,
to a higher possession of their being.
Put your faith in the spirit
which dwells between the two of you.
There alone the skies are ever open for your love;
there alone lies the great road ahead.
The Reverend concluded our ceremony with this blessing:
May you continue to share your love openly, singing and dancing together, being ever joyful and sharing much laughter with one another. May you relish every day by living in the present...as you make your way, walking hand in hand, into the future. With God’s divine grace, may these blessings and many more be yours in abundance. Debra and Howard, in so much as the two of you have recommitted your love for each other by these vows, I do by virtue of the love itself, pronounce your vows renewed. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Schildhouse, you may now share love’s sweet kiss. |
I kissed my bride, and my bride kissed me.
Debra and I spent time visiting with our out-of-town guests who had joined us via Zoom. It was a treat—and a blessing—to share our ceremony with them.
Debra and I spent time visiting with our out-of-town guests who had joined us via Zoom. It was a treat—and a blessing—to share our ceremony with them.
After we said our goodbyes, we were ready to celebrate with a slice of cake and a glass of nonalcoholic wine—but first, we signed our Vow Renewal Certificate.
We traveled to Salt Lake City with a few keepsakes from our wedding in 1974—our cake topper, wedding invitation, matches, and napkin—which we set out alongside our ‘50 Years Blessed’ cake. Can you imagine—each and every one of these keepsakes was, like our marriage, 50 years old. And like Debra and me, they too had aged beautifully!
Earlier, I wrote that the ceremony was everything we had hoped it would be. The truth, though, is that our ceremony exceeded our expectations, thanks in large part to Reverend Scuderi. Of all the officiants we might have chosen, we felt that the hand of God guided us to him…and for this we will be forever thankful.
We spent a lovely hour or so with the Reverend and Teinamarrie, his wife, after the ceremony. Chit-chat, mostly—but chit-chat that allowed us to get to know one another better. As an aside, I said to the Reverend, “We’d like to renew our vows on our 75th anniversary, which would be June 16, 2049.” With a wink, I added, “If you’re free, we’d like you to perform our ceremony.”
Without missing a beat, he replied, “Consider it done!”
I can’t wait to write the story of our 75th anniversary—our Diamond Jubilee celebration!
Without missing a beat, he replied, “Consider it done!”
I can’t wait to write the story of our 75th anniversary—our Diamond Jubilee celebration!